Comfort #39 Comfort of maintaining one’s boundaries
Even though we may not have had the option of maintaining our boundaries as children, we can grow into this power as adults.
I often felt hemmed in by group activities long before I discovered my empathic tendencies.
I did know I could walk away and remove myself from activities that were not part of my high standards, even in high school.
During the course of a fun get-together, I have learned to tell my adult friends that I have enjoyed the conversation, but that I need to get to a quieter place.
This is completely accepted.
I have learned to ask for help when I need it, even though it is hard for me to do.
I know that the work I do is needed, and I make sure that I am doing it.
I resist the distractions which can so easily present themselves.
During my professional life as a symphony musician, I had a persistent stalker who was also a symphony member.
I felt intimidated when he would try to put his arm around me during rehearsal breaks.
I could tell he was saying derogatory things about me in a different language as they joked and laughed.
I even turned down jobs when I needed the money if I knew he was going to be there.
Finally, I decided that I had had enough.
During the next concert at intermission, as I passed the other musician on the backstage stairs, he backed off.
He saw something in my eyes as I determined not to be victimized any more.
Later, I opened a conversation with him about coming to the US and I found out that he had come here with his wife.
I met her after a concert and the whole situation changed.
I changed my circumstances when I realized I could stand up to maintain my boundaries.
I have been able to draw on this power in other situations when necessary.
I am comforted by the fact that I was able to learn this skill when I did.
I no longer attract bullies.
This was a problem since I was a little girl, but no more.
Liberation begins when you discover your rights to freedom and happiness.
Whether you have grown up with the experience of rights to your freedom and happiness or not, there is a way for you to find this liberation for yourself.
Your status in your culture may give you certain rights.
It may reserve other rights for another segment of the population.
Your rights, the ones to freedom and happiness come from within.
You liberate yourself when you can feel the peace from inner listening.
This tells you the best way to proceed as you listen for ideas.
I had felt very limited about learning to use technology.
I felt that it was right that I learn it so I could share my music teaching ideas more widely.
At the time I bought my first computer, there was a program for a very small fee which allowed me to come to the shop an unlimited number of times for instruction for a year.
I was able to come there three times each week.
My fears about technolgy were dispelled every time I learned something new.
Even though there are always new challenges, I have been able to listen within to discover my next step.
In my new location overseas, I have felt very limited by dealing with a new language.
I have found an approach which liberates me.
I am able to write down my question using a translator app and walk into a shop and say, in the new language, “I have a question”.
Then, I read what I wrote down to get the conversation started.
This is helping me release fears about communicating.
I experience liberation each time I learn a new skill or a new route.
I experience liberation each time I take on a new challenge even when it is scary.
Learning to liberate myself through inner listening is a valuable skill.